The Beauty of Adoption

In honor of National Adoption Month, we bring you some touching personal accounts of how it feels to be both an adoptive parent and an adopted child.

When I first set out to write this article I could never have imagined that it would turn out like this. My views on adoption were as a third person and quite frankly a little naiive, having never experienced it myself. I wanted to learn more and my perception on adoption was somewhat seen through rose tinted glasses, rounded off with a little hint of the difficulties of actually going through the adoption process.

What I've learnt is much more than that.

Whilst listening to the families share their stories to me, I noticed that the subject can at times be a little sensitive, particularly for the child. Even when that child has grown up. As a mom, this gave me a new perspective on parenting that I had never taken into consideration. My kids have always been my kids. I've never had the difficult task of having to explain that they have another mommy or daddy. I've come to understand, through listening to my friends share their accounts, that the most important thing, above anything else, is the love and bond that being an adoptive parent or child can bring. I take my hat off to all adoptive parents and chidren around the world for having the courage and strength and beauty inside of them to be able to bring a world of opportunity to each other.



The beautiful side of adoption.

Boz and Sarah Ann's Story

Boz and Sarah Ann live in Canada. They met when Sarah was 3 years old. Here is what Boz had to say about her experience:

"I met my daughter when I was twenty three and her third birthday was only a week gone. Her adopted father, the only dad she would ever really know, held her in his arms and we were eye to eye.

Somehow in that moment I knew I was looking at someone that was going to be in my life forever; that old soul looking at me out of the gorgeous hazel eyes. That was eighteen beautiful years ago. She saved my life more than once and probably doesn't need to know that. Maybe that is true of all families. We just keep it simple: love is love. No explanations neccesary."

Bethany´s Story

Beth was born in Romania in the early 1990´s. This was a time when many children and babies had been placed in orphanages due to the then Presdident Ceaucescue creating a law that made abortion illegal in a drive to increase the population of Romania. Contraception was banned and many families, already living in poverty found themselves expecting babies that they just could not care for. This resulted in the children being left in overcrowded and often shocking conditions as many of these orphanages were unable to financially cope. It was a situation so bad that it made mainstream news across Europe and many people in the UK sought to help by adopting the children.

Beth´s birth mother was a single parent and struggled to look after her 4 children and still continue to work to help provide for them. Pregnant with Beth also, she felt the only thing she could do was put Beth up for adoption.

Beth considers herself one of the lucky ones. She was adopted by a UK family when she was 8 months old. They had met Beth when she was just 3 months old and instantly fell in love with her. The adoption process took a long time due a combination of legal red tape and the fact that Beth had been born premature with many health complications.
Her adoptive mom kept a record of her birth certificate, adoption process and current events at the time so Beth could understand her identy. They even incorporated her birth name as her middle name, a beautiful gesture.

Beth has known that she was adopted for as long as she can remember. When asked how she felt about that, she said that it was a good thing and she is glad that her mom and dad told her from a young age. It saved her from the shock and mentally prepared her for the day when she may meet her biological family. She also feels so lucky to have been given the life she has. She feels her adoptive parents saved her life.

Beth met her biological family in 2011. Although she does not know her biological father. She gets on really well with her older sister (pictured above right, with Beth) She attended her wedding this year and her adoptive father joined the ceremony too.



                                                                     *     *      *


It just goes to show that it doesn´t matter whether your parents are the ones who brought you into this world or not. It´s about the love, kindness and good guidance that a parent has for a child. The ability to parent positively and prepare their child for the future.

I would like to say a big thank you to all who have contributed to this article and providing the images used.

How To Teach Your Child To Brush Their Teeth

I've never been one to floss everyday but now that I have a child my views have changed on dental care. I want my child to learn the proper ways to prevent cavities and trips to the dentist.  So it's time to learn the basics of toddler tooth care. Here's what you need to know about keeping those little teeth clean and healthy. 

TODDLER DENTAL CARE BASICS

TOOTH BRUSHING

Brush twice a day. Baby teeth are vulnerable to decay as soon as they break through the gums. The best line of defense? Brushing regularly — and optimally, for two minutes at a time — in the morning after breakfast and in the evening after bedtime snack. Be prepared to be the brusher-in-chief — your toddler won’t have the motor skills to go solo until he’s between five and eight. But capitalize on his growing independent streak by making him your dental deputy. Then teach your toddler to brush, and try tooth brushing games to make cleaning teeth a whole lot more fun.

Get the right brush. What’s best depends on how cooperative your cutie is at brushing time. Is he happy to open wide? Then use a brush with a long handle that lets you maneuver around your eager brusher’s mouth. Got a case of bathroom lockjaw? Try finger brushing. Finger toothbrushes slip onto your index finger and have soft bristles at the tip, which may help get a stubborn toddler used to having his teeth cleaned. Or buy a colorful brush with his favorite character — maybe he can even choose it himself. Does two minutes seem like forever to your wee wiggler? Sing a song, tell a story, or download an app especially for this, anything to distract and make the time pass more quickly. Or buy a toothbrush that lights up, plays music, or makes a noise after the job’s done. Whatever type of toothbrush you use, replace it every three to four months.

Get the right toothpaste and mouthwash. Stick to water only or fluoride-free training toothpaste until your child can be trusted not to swallow it (that’s probably not before he turns two). After that, he can start using a pea-sized amount of fluoridated toothpaste. When he’s around two, you can show him how to rinse post-brushing, and he’ll probably be a fast — and most enthusiastic — student when it comes to spitting. You can also use a fluoride-free mouthwash if the dentist or pediatrician gives you the go-ahead.

TODDLER DENTAL CARE BASICS

FLOSSING:

As soon as two teeth grow in side by side, you and your tot can go on a plaque hunt with some trusty floss as your weapon — he’ll love pulling it out of the little box and cutting the string, too.

Choose your floss. You can use your regular (or flavored) floss on your toddler’s teeth or try one of those handheld plastic flossers shaped like a dino or other kid-friendly character.

Teach the technique. For early flossing sessions, sit your toddler on your lap, facing you. Floss his teeth as you would your own, using your index fingers and thumbs to guide floss gently in between the teeth. Slide the floss up and down against the tooth surface and (carefully) under the gum line, flossing each tooth with a clean section. You probably won’t be able to get to all those teeth — it’s the rare tot who can last through a flossing session without fidgeting — and that’s just fine. Focus on the molars first (if there are any) and work your way from the back of his mouth to the front. You can even let him have a go at it. Although your toddler may lack the finesse to floss efficiently (which he probably will — it’s hard work for those little fingers), he’ll be getting into the habit, and when it comes to toddler dental care, that’s the most important thing of all.

Why Aromatherapy Oils Could Benefit Your Child

I love spritzing lavender on my bed before I lay down and now I do it for my daughter. It’s fresh and has a calming effect, perfect for relaxing before slipping away to dream land.

You've probably heard of essential oils, but have you tapped into their potential? Essential oils have aroma-therapeutic properties than can benefit kids in many ways.

What is aromatherapy?

Aromatherapy is a type of alternative medicine that uses essential oils and other aromatic plant compounds which are aimed at improving a person's health or mood. Many consider this type of treatment as unscientific and wishful thinking - however, scientific evidence of its effectiveness is growing. Essential oils are used to address a myriad of issues including fussiness, lack of focus, digestive issues, skin ailments and muscle pain.

Aromatherapy and kids

People of all ages can benefit from using essential oils, but aromatherapy is often ideal for children because they usually enjoy the experience and connect certain scents with positive feelings.

Aromatherapy can help kids relax, support their digestive health and the immune system and generally promote a sense of balance. "These essential oils are certainly not medicines, nor do they take the place of any medication, they simply help the body and mind to find comfort and balance.

Aromatherapy and Autism

The ability of essential oils to trigger the senses often makes them ideal for kids with autism. Margaret Hyde is an aromatherapy expert and author of the Mo's Nose book series for children. "In the case of autistic children, aromatherapy enables them to remain calm and keep their body coordinated when feelings of anxiety begin to win them over," she says. "Making essential oils a part of the daily routine help keep everything balanced, calm and happy."

Practical uses

There are a wide range of essential oils and many uses for each. You can seek out a certified Aroma therapist for advice specific to your circumstances, but here are a few practical uses:

To help a baby or child sleep peacefully, add a drop of the following pure essential oils:                     Lavender, Roman Chamomile or Sweet Marjoram to a warm bath to promote a deep sense of relaxation.

To relieve colic or digestive issues, a drop or two of Fennel Essential oil in a little Sweet Almond or Jojoba oil could be rubbed on the belly to soothe and relieve colic and spasms.

To promote a sense of joy and contentment, diffuse a little Sweet Orange, Bergamot and Ylang Ylang or Geranium.

To promote better focus and concentration, a blend of Spearmint, Bergamot, Rosemary and Grapefruit may be useful.

FYI: Don't use essential oils on children younger than six months old. Aromatherapy is not meant to substitute medical treatment. For best results, check with the manufacturer to be sure that the oils you chose are of the best quality. (Make sure to buy pure oils) Do NOT put undiluted oil directly on skin.

Top Tips To Keep Your Child Warm This Winter

Winter is almost here, and now that my toddler is on the move she is going to want to play outside. Extreme cold can be daunting, so it's important that you suit your little ones up properly and know how to spot danger signs. Here are some helpful tips I found that eased my mind about how to keep kids at any age safe and warm.

Layer in threes.  Ever wonder how your winter parka is light yet keeps you so toasty? The empty spaces between the feathers trap heat from your body, nestling pockets of warm air between you and the frigid outdoors. That’s also why layers work in your favor — so snuggle your kids in three:

A one-piece sleeper outfit: The layer closest to your child’s skin should be soft, thin, and, for older kids, absorb sweat if they’re playing outside.

A long-sleeved shirt and pants: Opt for thinner cotton layers over, say, a bulky sweater so your little one stays cozy but can still move comfortably.

A snow suit or bunting: The final layer should be tightly woven and water repellent to bulk up the insulation factor and seal out cold. Watch out for oversize hoods, which can block peripheral vision, and stay away from drawstrings if your child is younger than 12 as they pose a choking hazard (opt for elastic or buttons at the neckline instead).

Plus, if you’re traveling with a baby in a stroller, top her off with a blanket for an extra layer of warmth.

Be cautious of car seats. Never buckle your little one into her car seat in her snowsuit: It can compress in a crash, making the straps too loose and her belt less effective. The AAP suggests one way to safely get your child out of your home is to place her into her car seat in her coat with a blanket on top while your car is warming up. Then take her outside with you to the car and position her in the rear seat, close the door, and enter from the other side. Remove her coat, strap her in, and lay the coat and blanket on top. If you’re going on a long trip she can overheat, so check every 10 or 15 minutes if she looks sweaty — and if she does, remove a layer right away.

Keep dry. Water evaporates in even the coldest temperatures, wicking away precious heat even faster, while soppy clothing loses its effectiveness at insulating. So make sure to check your baby’s diaper frequently if you’re outside for a half hour or more; if your young child has been outside dodging snowballs, change her out of any clothing that’s wet during those frequent 20-minute breaks.

Wrap it up. Breathing in chilly air is hard on little lungs — but avoid long scarves, which can be a choking hazard. Instead, shield babies from the wind with your stroller or car seat’s canopy or sun shield (and don’t cover her face, especially if she’s less than a year old, as it can restrict her breathing). For an older child, pull a neck warmer over the bottom of her mouth or cover her with a winter mask to warm the air before it hits her lungs.

Top off head-to-toe. Your munchkin’s ears, nose, and toes are the farthest away from her heart  which means her body has to work extra hard to keep them heated. This is especially true for babies, whose heads are such a big portion of their bodies. A cozy hat and baby booties or the right size snow boots for toddlers will keep those tiny appendages toasty.

Opt for mittens, not gloves. Itty-bitty fingers are also super-susceptible when the temperature drops, so always make sure your baby or young child’s are covered — preferably with mittens, which keep those dainty digits in close company so they can work together to stay warmer.

Shield skin from the sun. The sun is extra-bright when it reflects off snow and ice — so your child is still at risk of sunburn even in the midst of the deepest freeze. If you’re out for a brisk walk with your baby, her stroller canopy should do the trick, but you can also smooth on a layer of baby-safe sunscreen to be extra-safe. For older kids who are out playing for more than a quarter of an hour, cover any exposed areas 15 to 30 minutes before going out with sunscreen of at least SPF 15.

Keep sipping. Busy little bodies already need lots of energy — and all the more to keep warm when it’s cold, which means even more liquids are in order. If you notice your baby is wetting her diaper less than usual, she might be getting a bit dehydrated — so nurse her more frequently. And keep the fluids freely flowing for toddlers and kids as well (the AAP recommends 100-percent fruit juice or milk).

Do a skin check. If your little one’s skin appears extra red, she seems lethargic or clumsy, or she’s shivering, she may have hypothermia. If you notice any of these first signs, get back inside ASAP and call the doctor. Also keep an eye out for white or yellowish skin on her fingers, toes, and nose as this is the first sign of frostbite.

source: http://www.aap.org

How Much Sleep Do Toddlers Really Need?

Just as I got used to accomplishing things while my little one naps, she has decided to skip her morning naps and opt for one nap days. Here are some great tips on transitioning from multiple naps, and how to deal when the naps disappear altogether.
 
Dropping the morning nap. Most babies eventually settle into a two-nap-a-day routine one in the morning and another in the afternoon — until around 16 to 18 months. Once they're toddlers, they start to skip the morning nap. You'll notice the signs when your child remains revved up around nap time or starts to spend all the time playing in his crib. Sometimes, he'll be very vocal about it: "I'm not tired!" Whatever the signs, don't expect the transition from two naps to one to be smooth sailing. For the first few weeks, your child may grow cranky and fussy as he struggles to stay awake for more than six straight hours. He might doze off midway between what used to be his morning nap and his afternoon nap or even revert to his old morning-and-afternoon nap schedule.

At the beginning of this switch-over, keep an eye out for telltale signs of drowsiness — eye-rubbing, yawning, and that lovely Mr. Hyde personality change that comes with hair-triggered tantrums and tears. Shift lunch a bit earlier to accommodate an earlier afternoon nap if necessary. If he nods off before lunch, don't worry; you can always feed him after he wakes up. Just know that the single nap he's getting will likely be longer than his usual afternoon snooze — close to two hours or more.

Know too that with just one restorative siesta, he may easily get frustrated and cranky toward dinnertime. Again, keep an eye on him and adjust his schedule accordingly to ensure that he's getting enough sleep. Maybe feed him dinner a little earlier in order to get him to bed earlier. If you've allowed your sleepy child to nap later than usual, however, don't expect him to be ready for sleep at his regular bedtime. If there's typically, say, four hours between nap and bedtime, adjust his schedule accordingly to minimize protests.
 
Dropping the afternoon nap. Ah, you knew the day would come when that last nap disappeared. When it actually happens depends on the child (whether they're ready or not) —  some kids nap till they're five, while others quit around two or three. So there's a wide range of normal. Again, the transition from one nap to no naps can be shaky at first.  Instead of going cold turkey, your toddler may nap three days out of seven, and then two or one. For those days when napping is not in the cards, try to institute a half hour of "quiet time" when your child can lie or sit or play quietly and refuel for all the fun things you have planned for the afternoon. Most kids won't mind hanging out by themselves to do whatever they please, and more often than not they wind up falling asleep.

You should also consider moving up his bedtime on nap-free days. As with the two-to-one transition, he's still learning to make do on less energy, and it's not always pretty. He may get sloppy and cranky in the evening, so make sure you help him ease into bedtime before he becomes overtired. And make sure he's getting at least 11 hours of sleep each night. If he used to go to sleep at 8:00 p.m., wake up at 6:00 a.m., and get a one-hour nap, push his bedtime an hour or so earlier to make up the difference.

Not all kids are created equal, however. If your child is not getting the textbook-recommended sleep allotment, but he seems happy, healthy, and well rested, he's probably fine. If you have any questions at all about his sleep needs, check with your pediatrician.

The Scary Truth About This Dollar Store Toy Wand

Welcome to the new era of children's toys: The 'Evil Stick'.

 This could possibly be the worst toy ever made. The toy, which was found in a dollar store in Ohio is a magic wand style toy designed to attract many princess loving children. What looks like a seemingly magical, fairly enchanting toy contains a disturbing image of a demonic looking child slitting her wrists with a carving knife. 

 
Whilst utterly disturbing, this hasn't deterred the store's manager from removing it from the shelves. His response was that it should be parents responsibility to read the wand's label and added that he believed it to be appropriate for older children. "For a five, six, seven, ten-year-old, I mean they see that on T.V. " I'm guessing this man doesn't have children. I certainly wouldn't approve of this for my 9 year old daughter! 

I'm not sure what the manufacturers of this toy were thinking when they designed it. To me, this image is clearly disturbing. Not only is it the stuff of nightmares for young children, but older children who for many different emotional reasons may self harm. 

Let's just hope this toy is removed from the shelves soon.

For the full news story, see the video below.

Fun Ways To Teach Your Child Financial Responsibility

I want my children to understand and appreciate hard work, financial stability, saving and giving. Here are a few simple fun ways to start teaching kids financial responsibility now. 

1. Give a small allowance. Double whatever is leftover at the end of the month

This is a fun way to teach your child about the benefits of saving. Give or reward your child with a $5 allowance (or whatever amount you prefer). Tell your child that whatever money is left from the $5 at the end of the month, you will double.

Allow your child the option to use this money to buy a small toy or treat, but remind them that whatever they save out of the allowance will double at the end of the month.

This simple method will introduce the concept of saving and the benefits that can come from smart spending. They may not see the benefits right away, but once your child begins to see their piggy bank balance grow each month, they will start to grasp the concept. Be sure and sit with them and count the money they earned in "interest" by not spending it right away.

2. Give your child an opportunity to earn money.

Giving your child an opportunity to do small things in return for a money reward, whether for an allowance or just in general, will help them grasp the concept of earning from a young age.

Of course, they aren't going to go out and get a job just yet, but you can give simple tasks to your toddler to get them in the habit of helping out, such as sweeping the floor or helping a neighbor pick up leaves and put them in a trash bag.

Rewarding them with some coins or a dollar bill will make them more aware of the concept of earning.

3. Allow your child to make purchases.

This goes along with #1, but you can also educate your child to learn more about pricing when they are making purchases, while making it a fun experience for both of you.

For example, when at the store give your child a budget to stay under, say under $5. This will also help them understand some things you have to wait and save for. It's a fun way for them to realize that things cost money and that they don't grow on trees.

4. Help your child count out money to give away.

To help teach the concept of giving, have your child count out some money from their piggy bank. It could be just a couple coins. Take your child to a place that is taking donations and allow him or her to put the coins in the bucket.

You can also do this at holiday time with the Salvation Army bucket outside the grocery stores, or with cleaning out old clothes and toys and taking them to a donation drop off.

Help you child understand that they are helping people in need when they give back.

5. Communicate and make it fun.

As we become adults many of us often stress around the topic of money. I know I do. But as a parent, I don't want my children to grow up with a negative view of money. I want them to see it as a wonderful thing that will allow them more freedom and control in their life. 

Communicating openly though is a good way to give your child an awareness of how money is used. Allow your child to help you pay bills by putting stamps on the envelopes or stuffing the envelope (or clicking "pay" on the computer screen!). Explain that ATMs aren't an endless supply of money, or how your credit card works.

Simple, light conversations around how money is used can be a great value for your young child.

Potty Training: What to Avoid

Being a first time mother, I’m always wondering if I’m doing things right. It doesn't help that I’m also worried if my toddler is on track as far as developmental stages when others are telling me “well my child did this at this age”. So here are a few things to avoid when thinking about potty training I found helpful. 

Starting too soon
Starting potty training before your toddler is ready will only make it more difficult and prolong the process. There's no magic time when it's right to begin. Most toddlers have the necessary physical and mental skills between 18 and 24 months, while some aren't ready until they're closer to age 3 or even 4. Keep an eye out for physical, cognitive, and behavioural signs that your toddler is set to give it a try. It may take up to three months or even longer to potty-train your child, and it's important to be patient and supportive throughout. If you've been trying for several weeks without success, your toddler may not be ready — wait a few more weeks and try again.

Starting at the wrong time
 It's not a good idea to begin training a week before the new baby is due, when you're changing caregivers, or during any other disruptive time in your child's life. Toddlers are creatures of routine, and any changes to the usual program are likely to cause setbacks. So wait until things have settled down before you start. 

Putting on the pressure 
If your toddler has started to show an interest in potty training, that's great. But don't push her to get through it faster than she can handle. If she gets nervous, she could start holding in her stool, which can lead to constipation and other problems. Let her take her time and get used to this new, multi-part process step by step. She'll move from one stage to the next at her own speed.

Following someone else's timetable
It will get harder with each week, but no matter how many times you hear your parents, your in-laws, or someone else from an earlier generation tell you that you should hurry up and start training, let it roll off your back. Potty training methods change from one generation to the next, and what was standard practice when you were a child may no longer be the norm. These days it's typical to wait for signals your child is ready rather than impose a schedule of your own. And research suggests children can't voluntarily control the muscles for their bladder and rectum until they're at least 18 months old. 

Punishing your child
It won't accomplish a thing to get angry or penalize your toddler if she's not interested in training, won't sit on the potty, has an accident, or has any of the other common problems kids have while potty training. Setbacks are natural, and scolding will only make her less interested in training — she'll be afraid any mistakes will upset you. If you can, respond to messes and other challenges calmly — and if you can't, bite your tongue and count to ten, then try again.